There Was A Baby And Then There Was Not.

His heart was beating and then it was not. I had two kids and then I had one. I was pregnant and then I was postpartum. There was a baby and then there was not. How do I explain that he died before he was born? How many times do I have to tell my daughter June that he’s not coming back? How many times do I have to tell myself? Now I make lists.

I fill out forms like this:
Number of pregnancies: 2
Number of live births: 1

Excerpt from Kate Suddes’ powerful piece, Nice Baby Boy, sharing her experience and honoring her son, Paul, stillborn on November 11, 2012, three weeks before her due date.

In week twelve of my second pregnancy, I went into labor and gave birth to our daughter, Lotte Violetta, who had died shortly before. That was absolutely devastating. (more…)

Dutch Baby with Persimmons, Apples & Pomegranate.

I’ve made two meals in the past two days with this autumnal Dutch Baby recipe by Kelsey Brown on Kinfolk.  

Of course, I used what was at hand in the kitchen so instead of a Honeycrisp Apple, slices of Evereste Crabapples went into the compote along with our last Fuyu Persimmon from Terra Organics.  Instead of whipped cream, I whisked plain Greek Yogurt with confectioner’s sugar.  Almond extract instead of vanilla. Trader Joe’s Gluten Free All-Purpose Flour. (more…)